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you've got time, baby, take it
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Another year over, another beginning. It's the time of year when the hopeful people make resolutions, promises to themselves to change, to get better, and the time of year when the rest of the world says change isn't possible. I'm a mixture of both of those people. I believe change is possible, but I'm always scared to make a New Year's resolution because in all my life, I can only recall one resolution I've ever succeeded at and stuck to.

Last year, Jamie at To Write Love on Her Arms posted a phenomenal blog post entitled Welcome to Midnight, which you can read here. It's inspirational, and it's exactly what I needed this year to remind me that change is possible, and that I have it in my own power to become the person I want to be.

I've been going back and forth on whether or not I want to set actual resolutions or not. Mostly, I'm scared. If I say that I'm going to do something, and then I don't do it this year, then I'll have failed. If I don't have any goals written down anywhere, or I don't tell anyone what changes I want to make, then I can't actually fail, can I?

And then I think, maybe it's that fear of failure I'm supposed to overcome. Maybe I'm supposed to learn this year how to take a leap of faith and how to keep going when I feel like I've failed. Maybe that's the change I need to make in my life.

When I think about it that way, I feel like it's stupid to not dream big, to not hope for something better, to not strive for the highest. And so I'm going to make a few resolutions, and I'm going to be okay if I fail. I'll learn this year how to get up, dust myself off, and go forward.

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Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
Current Music: nothing

jupiterlullaby
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I'm both depressed and in kind of a bitchy mood, so be warned.

financial rant ahead.Collapse )

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Current Mood: depressed depressed
Current Music: nothing

jupiterlullaby
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I feel like I've forgotten how to blog.

A lot of times I'll tell myself to remember to write a post about something that's going on or that has happened, and then if/when I log in to do it, my mind just doesn't work the way I want it to and either a post never happens or it's just . . . meh.

For example: my little brother Matt got married on Saturday. I had this huge post thought out in my head and now I can't remember any of it.

I think part of my issue is that sometimes I want to just post a tiny paragraph, and Twitter works for that. Other times I want to rave on like a lunatic fangirl (who, me?), and Tumblr works for that. I feel like I no longer really have a voice on LJ. I know this is my journal and that I can post whatever I want and I don't have to sound professional, and I can fangirl to my heart's content if I want to, but somehow it just doesn't work that way for me. Maybe it's because I don't really interact with anyone on here anymore. Maybe it's time to try to find some more LJ friends and try to make it a point to read my flist every day and really make an effort to get to know some new people.

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Current Mood: annoyed annoyed
Current Music: downstairs neighbors partying . . . again

jupiterlullaby
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If I just had more time, I think I could make this presentation into something amazing. As it stands, I have several half-baked ideas, a few more sources to use in my final research paper, and the beginnings of a few thought processes going. But I still have zero slides.

I really have no idea how to turn this into a PowerPoint presentation. I need to see a few other people's presentations before I can get it the way I need it to be, I think. I'm just not sure whether or not I'll be able to get away with not presenting tonight. If everyone goes for the minimum time requirement, which is ten minutes, and she actually does do lecture/discussion for the first half of class, then there is logistically no way for everyone who should go tonight to actually get to go tonight. Maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones.

To be totally honest, I've thought about asking if I can forfeit a few points right from the off if she'll give me an extension into next week.

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Current Mood: rushed rushed
Current Music: Pink Floyd, "Time"

jupiterlullaby
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I feel like all I do when I get on LJ anymore is rant, but here we go again.

Tomorrow I have to do a ten to fifteen minute presentation in my special topics anthro class that will lead in to the final research paper, which is due in at the end of the month. The topic I chose for my research paper is how the natural human body is becoming more and more transgressive, whereas the unnatural has become the norm. I can pull off the topic in a research paper, but I'm not sure how to go about writing and giving a presentation on it.

I also need to figure out how to include a sample of talk that supports my thesis, as well as incorporate each gender (including those that are not the standard male-female dichotomy). I have an idea for one of my required medias, which is to pull up photos of celebrities without their makeup and talk about how the magazines describe their natural look as ugly or unkempt, and discuss that the magazines never choose photos of makeup-less celebrities who are smiling or happy, but instead publish photos of them glaring or pulling a face or looking just generally annoyed with the entire world. That will cover a few minutes and one media requirement, but I have no idea what to use as my verbal media requirement. One of the groups at the beginning of the year used a Dove commercial in their mini-presentation that could work, but I don't know if I'm allowed to reuse media that has already been discussed.

Then there's the whole issue with using the theories and documents we've discussed in class. I've only missed one discussion, and I feel fairly confident that I know the material, but I don't know how to really zero in on specific theories. I don't know if each paper we've read counts as a theory, or if I need to reread some of the articles and really try to pull out theses, or if I've just totally missed something.

I don't know. I'm going to go attempt to work on it now, I suppose. This has helped focus my thoughts a little, but I'm still pretty much clueless on how and where to begin.

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Current Mood: distressed distressed
Current Music: nothing

jupiterlullaby
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I found out on Friday that I was accepted into Marshall's nursing program. I was admitted as a sophomore, so here's to three more years of education and then finally a big girl job! Of course, I plan to continue to get an MSN in nurse midwifery, so technically here's to five more years, but who's counting?

I wonder how much of the courseload I could take during the summer sessions to speed up the process. I've already got the entirety of the freshman year taken, and a couple of the electives for the other three years.

I'm so relieved that I got accepted. I had no idea what I was going to do if I hadn't, because there are no more courses I could take for it without being fully admitted.

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Current Mood: cheerful cheerful
Current Music: Adam Pascal, "Book of Endings"

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I'm apparently still not very good at this updating my journal thing. Some things never change.

So, in the last two months my life has been good, bad, and stressful. Most of the time it's been good, but it's also been pretty stressful for the majority of the time, too. I've been doing okay in my classes, and work is fine--just kind of exhausting.

Right now I'm supposed to be working on my lab report for physiology. It's due tonight at midnight, and obviously that means I haven't even started it. Our graduate assistant gave us guidelines that pretty much outline everything that should be in the report, so that should help. This report shouldn't be anywhere near as difficult as the first one was.

I do need to get started on my report. I have twenty minutes before my next class, and then I'll have about three hours before I have to start cooking dinner. Hopefully I can get this thing knocked out before I have to cook, so I can socialize with Becky and our neighbors, Joe and Becky, who are coming upstairs for Epic Tortellini tonight. I don't want to have to worry about finishing or have to hide and work while everyone else has a good time.

Peace!

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Current Mood: hungry hungry
Current Music: nothing

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I finally got iTunes to wake back up, but it gave me an error message about my apps. It told me they couldn't be found on the phone and therefore couldn't be backed up/synced. I finally gave in, unplugged the thing, and did a hard reset.

Thank everything even remotely holy, all my data is still there and intact.

I will be spending all of my free time in the box office tonight emailing myself all my notes and everything else I deem important. I may or may not attempt to sync my phone again tomorrow. It depends on how brave I'm feeling.

Now I have to go get ready for work. Bah.

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Current Mood: relieved relieved
Current Music: nothing

jupiterlullaby
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I connected my iPhone to my computer to sync my photos about an hour ago. It was taking a very long time to back up my data, and after a while, the progress bar stopped moving altogether. I decided to cancel the sync and eject my phone, planning to try again later.

Now everything is frozen.

My iTunes stopped responding, my phone's screen went black and has the progress dial on it, but the dial isn't moving, and it keeps making the "I'm connected!" noise, but nothing is happening. I'm afraid that when it does finally come back up I will have lost all of my data.

I can handle losing my text messages. I can handle having to redownload and reorganize my apps (again). I can handle asking everyone for their numbers again. What I would not be able to handle is losing my photos and my data from my AwesomeNotes app. I write fic on that app, and I keep lists on that app, and I occasionally write rants/journal entries on that app. A very large portion of what I do with my phone is contained in that one single app, and it's been a couple of months since it was backed up when I last synced my phone.

Someone please send help. And tea. I need tea to make it through this alive.

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Current Mood: scared scared
Current Music: nothing

jupiterlullaby
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Let me preface this by saying I have a lot of music. Like, a lot of music. Like ~100 gigs of music.

I am trying to organize my iTunes and make sure every album not only has a playlist but also has all of the correct songs and information. This is a very daunting task, and I'm getting quite frustrated. I've always used Amazon's pages to get tracklistings and CD information, but some of the stuff I have has several different options on Amazon. Different tracklistings for different releases in various countries and the like. I also have songs that were never released on any albums, as well as bootleg recordings of concerts.

Then there's also the fact that I really ought to listen to the songs and make sure that the versions I have are the right songs for the titles listed, and that the quality is decent, and that there's no abrupt, incorrect ending, and so on and so forth. That would literally take three straight months of continuous listening to accomplish.

Can I hire someone to do this for me? That would cause issues, too, because I subscribe to the "do it yourself if you want it done right" philosophy.

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Current Mood: frustrated frustrated
Current Music: Coldplay, "Major Minus"

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Kacie
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